Water. God created it. Moses parted it. Jesus walked on it, turned it into wine and calmed it. But just how important is water? Who knows…
Wait a minute. Stop the press. According to GIS, water is essential for living? Holy crap! And just how long has GIS been keeping this little gem under wraps?
Water is essential for living… now – FINALLY! – everything is starting to make sense.
You know, if it weren’t for GIS I would never have known that water – oft called the “elixir of life” – is essential for life on planet earth; and it’s mere presence in an environment means the possibility for life exists, which is why scientists are hoping to find water or ice on Mars to help support their theory that the red planet could have supported – or could currently support – life.
Water is essential for living. Thanks GIS. Kids are driving their cars into power poles; bankers are being barbecued in car boots; psychotic crack-head politicians (who shall remain nameless but his name rhymes with dr Frank McField) are spitting on cops; exactly 17 people are well-educated about constitutional reform; people are being shot… and we have a department called “Government INFORMATION Services” telling us how to flush our toilets more efficiently?
Just how vital is GIS to Cayman? Just vital enough that in an election year and amidst all the garbage that is taking place in Cayman, we can rely on GIS to take our minds off the issues of the day by telling us that we need water... Brilliant.
I gotta tell ya, there is something very wrong with a system that allows this abortion of mis-guided government waste to go un-checked. If I was the chief secretary I’d give everyone at GIS a week off – then I’d fire them and burn down the GIS office.
Furthermore, I find it disturbing that the government pays cut-rate public relations hacks to write about the importance of water while I write acerbic and topical political wit and point out the ridiculous and ludicrous flaws which are this land’s inherent vice in hopes that people will wise up and do something about it - and I have to beg for tips (which, by the way, have been slow the past few weeks…)?
Please allow me to clarify a few things so we can move forward and GIS can hopefully focus on frying bigger fish, which live in water because apparently it’s essential for their lives as well.
Water is essential, food is essential, housing is essential, clothing is (often) essential, transportation is essential, health care is essential, air to breath is essential. In one sentence I totally informed everyone about standard life-sustaining and supporting essentials, and screwed up the GIS story budget for about six months. But it didn’t cost the government a penny. You’re welcome.
Do we really need a government department to tell us water is essential? Is there nothing else the information services department could be working on? Let’s see… what issue is looming on the horizon that people need to know about that GIS could help us understand?
What is it that is vital to the furtherance of Cayman as a nation and as a viable entity on the planet? What topic should everyone in Cayman have at least a working knowledge of so that prudent and educated discourse might foster positive ideas to the benefit of all who call Cayman home, all who do business in Cayman and all who visit Cayman? Apparently it's water.
Got it GIS. Water is essential for living. Thanks for clearing that up.
I guess it’s a good thing Cayman is surrounded by water on at least three sides (that GIS release will be out next week). Thanks you freaking GIS idiots.
To heck with constitutional reform. Forget about health insurance, education, safe driving, the battle against drug dealers, and building a stronger tourism product. Crime? Screw it! Let’s have our government information services put out press releases about how important water is.
But I guess asking them to do anything that is even remotely topical is out of the question as they would need to actually know what they were talking about – which is why they are only barely capable of re-writing a Department of Environmental Health pamphlet to inform us all about the miraculous qualities of this magical liquid called “water.”
If ever there was an example of government waste this has got to be it. Never before has GIS proved itself more useless and worthless than by issuing a press release on water. I’m sure “Air: Essential for breathing” is being polished off by GIS brass as we speak.
Never before have so few done so little for so much money while wasting so much time and informing no one.
GIS: Essential for nothing.
And if you don't agree with me, call Dawn McCoy and leave me a message.