The Cayman Islands Tourism Association (CITA) has taken a bold stand, polling their members and indicating that 74% of CITA members say “no” to a dolphin attraction in Cayman.
What does this mean? This means that 26% of the voting members of the CITA are now Cayblogger’s favourite people in the world, and I want to know who they are so that I can frequent their businesses instead of giving my hard-earned dollars to some bleeding-heart, tree-hugging, dolphin-kissing (but not in Cayman), misguided idealists who miss the bigger picture.
Here is the bigger picture – until we figure out a way to keep irresponsible dumbass drivers from killing people on our roads, captive dolphins should be the least of our worries. Until then, let’s expand the tourism product and make a lot of money.
Will dolphins have shorter life spans in a captive environment? I’ll go ahead and say “yes.” But you know what? I would venture to say that most creatures taken from their natural environment and kept in a confined space would see a reduction in projected life span. This includes fish, insects, birds, turtles, horses… all of which are held captive for our pleasure on this very island. Has anyone seen how a horse is broken? Believe me – during the process of being broken it would BEG to be a “captive dolphin.”
Now it seems odd that CITA would vote against such a potentially huge money-making venture, but I suppose they have their reasons; like say for instance, “We didn’t think of this first.” I feel there are a number of reasons why having dolphin attractions in Cayman isn't a bad idea. Here are but a few.
Dolphins will probably be the only employees of a watersports company that will be able to pass a random drug screening and blood alcohol test. Dolphins don't need work permits, health insurance or pension benefits.
Dolphins also won’t walk tabs in bars and leave bars and restaurants without tipping; nor will they have loud raucous parties late into the evening; live 10 people to a one-bedroom unit; drive beat-up cars with poor exhausts; adopt then abandon cats and dogs; rob tourists, hold up liquor stores; beat their wives; rape children; etc…
From a marketing standpoint, a dolphin painted on the side of an airplane will look a lot cooler that Sponge Bob Square pants, and a dolphin profile would fit nicely on the side of a stock car – and at the NASCAR rate of $250,000 for two Busch Series races, it HAS to look cool. I believe I’ve actually seen a Jeep with dolphins painted on it that looks absolutely and ridiculously stupid, so maybe we re-think our NASCAR positioning.
Finally, we need to remember that tourism is NOT for the locals, it’s for the TOURISTS. And since Cayman must (in order to survive) pander to this sector, anything that can be done to grow the tourism industry must be done. I guarantee that once opened, the dolphin experiences will attract thousands of tourists and generate millions of dollars of revenue directly and indirectly. Oh yeah, and it will create jobs.
Now correct me if I’m wrong, but most governments these days look to grow industry. Has the Cayman Islands adopted a reductionism theory related to tourism? If so, someone please tell The Ritz and the real estate industry and lets re-draft our tourism management plan so that it can more effectively benefit dolphins more so than humans.
And if you’re going to now speak about cruelty to animals and depletion of natural resources, save it – that ship has sailed.
Now back to the big picture for our dolphin-hugging friends. At the end of the day, people need to stop whinging about “save the dolphins” and focus more on saving the humans. No one knows for certain how efficient we’ll be able to kill dolphins, but we’re doing a mighty fine job of killing people on our roads.
And at the very least, the captive dolphins will be well-looked-after, well-fed, and well-maintained until they are released or until their demise – which beats having your body parts extracted from a crumpled ball of metal or scraped off the road.
It's time to implement a more strict vehicle licensing policy; get the irresponsible punks and their tricked out Hondas off the roads; put drunk drivers in jail; revoke licenses of people who flagrantly disobey road safety laws; and for once and for all stop being held captive by the idiots who turn their cars into weapons of mass destruction.
At our current rate of carnage, Cayman stands to see 32 people killed on our roads this year - compared to zero dolphins. On the upside, I guess that means 32 fewer roll-overs and 32 more job openings...
I'll make KDFCI a promise - if you will fight for safer roads that will save the lives of my friends and family, I'll fight to save your precious dolphins. Until then, save your rhetoric.
Wake up and see the bigger picture! Down with myopia! Screw the dolphins - save the humans!
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