Startling news from the Royal Cayman Islands Police Service today following a drug bust in East End, after which it was announced that drug prices in the Cayman Islands are spiraling out of control.
The RCIP nabbed eight pounds of ganja during a drug bust on Wednesday, with an approximate street value of nearly CI $35,000 – which has dope smokers in the Cayman Islands worried.
“It’s getting really hard to make ends meet, eh,” said Sandy “Roachclip” Schmegling. “I mean between rent and cable and booze and the price of doobage going up, it’s getting hard to bake, eh. It's like the pigs are trying to Bogart our buzz, eh. I may have to go back to Canada, eh.”
The RCIP’s announcement that eight pounds of weed would net $35,000 on the street is an increase in value of nearly 800% from Cayblogger’s college days. Even with a fixed inflation rate of 5% over ten years, the price of a pound of primo skunk weed should still fetch no more than US $2,000.
“Dude, we used to score a QP (quarter pound) for like $250,” said Cayblogger’s Rufus T. McGilicutty. “I mean, one time we got some guys together and sold our text books and two units of plasma each and picked up a pounder for a grand ($1,000). Dude, we partied like rock stars for a week.”
Such a drastic increase in the price of bong-bait has Cayblogger wondering if there is indeed collusion between the RCIP and drug dealers to drive up the price of spliff while profiting off the sweat of blue lungers throughout the islands. The RCIP had no comment, and the drug dealers were too busy to comment as there were four cruise ships in port on Thursday.
One well-known pothead and radio disc jockey said the situation is getting out of control, and before it becomes impossible to afford the herb, something has to be done. To protect his anonymity Cayblogger with call him “J.”
“It’s almost cheaper to fly to Jamaica, buy your dope and take a boat back,” J said. “Before too long the only ones who will be able to afford it are the attorneys and accountants – and they already buy all the good (stuff) anyway.”
And soaring marijuana prices are affecting businesses as well. Pizza Hut manager Billy Schlossberger said he has seen his business suffer as the result of the prize of buzz bud going up.
“When the price of weed goes up, burners have less disposable income,” Schlossberger said. “The resulting reduction in disposable income has a direct correlation on our pizza sales. I call it the 'Pot Price Pizza Slice Law of Inverse Proportionality.'”
Local economists see no end in site to the alarming rate of inflation of the price of Marley barley, but say the one way to drive the price down is to flood the market with more product; and the RCIP is not willing to allow that to happen.
Until something is done, smokers will continue to suffer the negative economic impact of the inflationary dynamics of the doobie, while the dealers will reap the benefits of a captive island-bound consumer demographic.
"Dude, I may have to take up drinking," J said.
Cayblogger will stay on top of this most serious situation.
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