So the latest challenge to human rights and peaceful coexistence of divergent customs, nationalities, beliefs and lifestyles is a private members motion filed by the leader of the opposition McKeewa Bush that would prevent two people of the same gender from marrying.
I’ve got a better idea.
How about we pass a law that prevents stupid people from getting married? Because let’s face it: there are far too many stupid people getting married having stupid kids who go out and do stupid stuff, and those stupid kids grow up to be stupid adults who end up in the legislative assembly passing stupid laws.
So I say regardless of your sexual or intellectual orientation instead of insisting marriage be reserved for two people of the opposite sex, we need to insist that marriage be reserved for two people who aren’t complete freaking morons.
We’ve all heard the argument that you have to have a driver’s license to operate an automobile, but any nitwit who can sign his or her own name and say “I do” can marry and procreate (unless you live in West Bay where marriage is optional prior to spawning little half-wit bastards).
My argument may be cynical, but again I say: there are too many stupid people getting married. I’m sorry, but if you’re a dumbass you should NOT be getting married. Period. Gay, straight, bi… if you’re an idiot – stay single, and for God’s sake STOP PUMPING OUT STUPID LITTLE BABIES.
Here’s a typical night for a stupid kid. They do something stupid like, say… they go out and knock back a bottle of rum and end up at Kirk Freeport dry-humping 12-year-olds. And the one stupid kid with a bit of technical savvy records the “dance hall” and posts the video for the world to see; proving yet again: “In the land of the morons, the half-wit is king.”
And after this all-night grind session a 24-year-old out of work landscaper’s assistant ends up with the belle of the ball who is a 16-year-old almost high school graduate. After a few rum punch and a couple of hits off the bong they have the great idea to get married (stupid).
So they marry their fortunes together. His: a collection of Sean John hats and shirts, some “solid gold” necklaces, oversized baggy jeans, a few pair of Addidas, a couple of bottles of Stetson cologne and a bike that used to work. Hers: a collection of hair weaves, press-on nails (varying colours and sizes), lycra spandex unitards, extra small jeans, two pairs of FMP (red and black), and a pink cell phone.
Then, after the wedding picnic and beer bash, (if they haven’t already) they bring a child into the world (stupid) that they can’t afford (stupid) because they didn’t practice safe sex (stupid) and then they have to suck the government tit (stupid) and sit around their parent’s house and complain about how much more the government should give them (stupid) all because they are stupid.
They end up uneducated, unemployed, unemployable, unmotivated, unproductive, unintelligent, under-achieving vacuums of social welfare programmes with no intention of bettering themselves. And why? Because they are stupid. So what do they do? They run for political office.
Why are they stupid? Simple: Because they are not engaged as citizens of Cayman, but rather they are herded through a sub-par education system and let loose on a lazy society that practices lip service but holds no one accountable for actual results. They have been convinced that they have no stake in their society because they have been brainwashed to believe that foreigners are stealing their jobs, raping their islands and eroding their culture: in spite of the fact that people like Roy Bodden constantly stand up and tell people that Caymanians need to change their ideology from one of entitlement to one of empowerment.
So what do they do? They quit – which is stupid. How can we fix stupid people? Educate them.
Everyone says, “We need a better education system” but no one steps up and puts their asses on the line to do anything about it. “We need better schools” but now the planned school construction is pushed back – again – for, what is it… two years?
The teachers in Cayman schools work far too hard to have so many people in Cayman walking around stupid. And I cite two factors: the family unit for not effectively engaging their children to understand that they are vital and do in fact have a stake in Caymanian society, and the government that is more concerned with the appearance of progress than with actual progress.
We don’t need more 737s – we need more schools. We don’t need more resorts, more hotels, more restaurants, etc… we need more teachers and we need to pay our current teachers more money – if for no other reason than for putting up with so many stupid kids day in and day out.
We don’t need the government bargaining with our human rights and attempting (even though they will deny it) to legislate morality; we need parents and teachers and government leaders teaching our kids ethics, morals, values and goal-setting techniques.
We don’t need Caymanian stalwarts maintaining the “Cayman versus ex-pat” status quo; we need forward thinking Caymanians and ex-pats to step up and use Cayman’s diverse population to more effectively educate and motivate children – in and out of school – so they don’t end up stupid.
And we don’t need laws banning two gay people from getting married – we need laws preventing stupid people from passing stupid laws that do nothing more than make Cayman look even more stupid than it already looks.
Complain about gay people – but do nothing to curb lude behaviour of straight people. Cry “transparency” but prevent open governance. Investigate police chiefs, but let cabinet members/civil servants steal documents. Do you realize how stupid this is and how stupid it looks to the outside world?
Everyone has the right to live their lives as they see fit. Gay, straight, married, single, smart or stupid… but only one of these traits will lead to the ruination of Caymanian society. And if you don’t know which one it is, it’s not because you’re gay, straight, married, single or smart…