CMEA - Hundredth Verse Same As The First

So there I was at a concert arena last month in New York City. The opening band was from Canada and the headliner was from the UK which got me thinking: “This is America! Why the hell do I come all the way to America to listen to non-American bands?”

I mean, are American bands being marginalized by their foreign counterparts? Is the talent outside the US superior to that which can be found inside the US? Are there not enough US bands to go around? What gives?

I love the band U-2, but in spite of their global accomplishments and musical genius just because they come to the US doesn’t mean they automatically get preferential treatment over bands like Banana Blender Surprise or Zen Archer does it?

I mean, these little American acts are struggling artists and they deserve to play sold out American auditoriums just as much as U-2 because they are, after all, Americans. Right?

Elton John? Screw him. I want to see Rocky and the Mudflaps play Caesar’s Palace. And will someone please just shoot Celine Dion and replace her with The Therapy Sisters? Please!

And Batabano... don't get me started. Where was the local talent?

To hell with Bryon Lee – bring on Chuck and Barrie! Because nothing, and I mean nothing, jumpstarts a crowd and propels a street filled with semi-sober partiers into a carefree frenzy of festive ass-bumping and soft core pelvic-grinding like C&B singing about taking the kids on a fishing trip. Hell yes!!

The CMEA would have us believe that Cayman artists (some of whom are actually Caymanian) should always have preferential treatment – period. If you’re a foreigner you go to the back of the line regardless of your experience, notoriety and/or talent…at least according to the idiot leader of the CMEA.

Constantly Moaning Entertainers Association president Brent McLean (aka Rant McLame) and his minions are apparently upset because Donna Myrie – for God knows what reason – obtained the services of internationally known musical acts for Batabano. Donna, what were you thinking?

But the funny thing about McLame’s rant was that he asked a question, and answered it – quite logically. McLame axed, “2008 Batabano has now come and gone and by all accounts the general public would consider it a roaring success, but at what cost would we attribute this success?

“Successful because the Batabano committee brought not only one International Soca band but two, the ever popular Byron Lee, and the king of Soca himself Mr Machel Montano. ..(but) my question to her and her committee is why were there no local entertainers?”

And the answer is simple, Rant. It was, as you claim, “a roaring success” BECAUSE of the talent Donna was able to retain NOT because of the local talent she didn’t use! But I suppose for Batabano the CMEA would rather have a harpist playing the theme from “The Godfather” or Dave Martins singing about too many chickens. Who needs the King of Soca? Call George Nowak (the King of Toke-a) and have him sing about fat drunk chicks or getting drunk and screwing a judge’s wife.

For crap’s sake CMEA – shut the hell up!! Once or twice a year it happens that Cayman is fortunate enough to get some fresh entertainment in these islands and you complain about it? How many times do we have to sit through the same sets played by the same musicians before you morons wake up and realize that a little variety is good – even necessary – for the islands? Answer: too freaking many times!

Donna Myrie goes out and gets some quality and appropriate musicians to play Batabano and instead of saying, “Good job Donna” and leaving it at that, you piss and moan like the spoiled brats you are and complain that more local acts weren’t used which means everyone in Cayman didn’t get to see – for the umpteenth time – the same people playing the same songs… again.

There is positively too much whinging and complaining going on in Cayman in general, and everyone – especially the CMEA - needs to shut the hell up, go about your day, love your fellow man (just not in public) and re-freaking-lax.

Seriously. CMEA complains that not enough local “talent” is used. Caymanians complain about ex-pats. Ex-pats complain about Caymanians. Everyone complains about the lack of or presence of a constitution and/or bill of rights. Businesses complain about rollover. Politicians complain about a healthcare system they’re ruining. Straights complain about gays. Chuckie steals from the government and then complains because people don’t like the fact that he’s a common criminal. “Dr” Frank assaults cops and then complains that the cops and the courts are treating him unfairly; ad nauseum.

Cayman isn’t a derivative of a word meaning crocodile – it’s Latin for constantly complaining!

(Editor’s note: technically what I’m doing isn’t complaining. I’m merely pointing out that too many people complain.)

Here it is: Donna Myrie-Stevens, thank you for all of your hard work for Cayman. Keep it up.

So CMEA, shut the hell up and put your “life is unfair” press release back in the drawer and save it for when Donna CAN’T get internationally recognized talent to come to Cayman… and she still snubs you because even if she did hire your members you’d find something to complain about anyway.

Until then McLame, don’t complain about the unfair treatment of Cayman’s talent pool when all you do is sit in it and pee.

Comments

[Cayman Muso]

Musicians would go nowhere in the world of music if there was no competition. Music is to be shared. It is a simple formula - If no one comes to see you play, you go and see them.

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OR, IF NO ONE COMES TO SEE YOU, YOU CREATE A MUSICIANS ASSOCIATION, REGULATIONS AND LAWS TO FORCE PEOPLE TO HAVE TO LISTEN TO YOUR MUSIC BECAUSE YOU'RE NOT TALENTED ENOUGH TO MAKE IT ON YOUR OWN... - rtm