Cayblogger - THE Cayman Islands' Blog Man

Government to Public: Free Enterprise Is More Important Than Life Itself

Saying that cost is a driving force behind further delays in implementing a graduated driver training course MLA Arden McLean said that too much practice with an instructor could put a drivers license out of reach, financially, for a number of license candidates.

The example given was that if 40 hours of instruction were required at $25 dollars an hour, it would cost $1,000 for people to get a drivers license. This, some say, is just too expensive. However, compare this proposed $1,000 worth of driver training to the cost of new car costing thousands of dollars, with hundreds or thousands of dollars of modifications, hurtling down the road at an ungodly speed shortly before crashing into another car killing multiple people, hospitalizing others – triggering automobile and medical insurance claims - and suddenly $1,000 is cheap compared to the nearly $10,000 it costs to bury someone and the tens of thousands of dollars of immediate and long-term care it costs to rehab a car crash victim.

Suddenly $1,000 for training is a small price to pay.

In the Caymanian Compass story Arden said, "I cannot put a price on it (instructor's services), that's free enterprise." Let me get this straight: you can't put a price on vital instruction that could possibly save lives, but you CAN put a price tag on what people have to pay to learn how to not kill people with their cars - and the price of the privilege of driving is quantifiable, yet the cost of preventing death is not? Driver instruction is free enterprise.

Well Arden, apparently so is an inexperienced driver killing themselves and others with an automobile. You've just told us all that free enterprise - when applied to a privilege and not a right - is more important than public safety and welfare. Good job.

When will the government pull their collective heads out of their collective asses and realize that driving is NOT a right – it is a privilege. And it is a privilege that should be reserved for those persons who drive within the construct of the laws and who respect the deadly serious privilege with which they have been entrusted?

Fourteen or 15 people were killed on roads last year, and McLean is concerned about drivers instructors charging too much or kids being required to practice with an instructor for 40 hours? If there is any possibility that an extra 20 hours could have saved even one of those lives, then Arden's logic of economic hardship driving the possible exclusion of valuable driver training as being cost-prohibitive is an abortion of political negligence.

If the kids or the families can’t afford to take the time to learn this potentially deadly skill – and learn it to such a level as to not go out and kill someone – then tough!! It's okay to spend hundreds of dollars to learn how to dive - during which time you could kill yourself - but to spend hundreds of dollars to learn a skill that could prevent not only yourself but others around from dying is unfair? Arden - and everyone else who buys into this rubbish - you're an idiot.

For God’s sake man! Wake up!! Forty hours is nothing and $1,000 is cheap if the system – properly implemented – has any chance of changing the driving habits of the under-supervised, over-privileged, under-disciplined, irresponsible and over-coddled youth of this nation who stand a much higher chance of being in and causing a deadly accident than a more experienced driver.

You know what it’s going to take? It’s going to take one person in the government sprouting a testicle or two to stand up and say, “NO MORE.” No more senseless road deaths. No more licensing punks and irresponsible jerks who do not have the skills or the respect for the road to be afforded the privilege of driving. No more sacrificing privileges for rights to the physical detriment and economic ruin of others. And no more putting up with parents who allow their children to modify their cars so as to be able to brazenly ignore road safety laws, thereby endangering themselves and others. NO MORE.

Besides, MLAs have a hard enough time navigating the roads delivering their own letters and skipping vital cabinet meetings – keeping bad drivers off the road might actually help them do their jobs.

Here’s a challenge to the government: make a commitment to your residents, young and old, that you will not continue to sit idly by and do nothing as people die in a horrible fashion when you have the power to make a difference.

There’s a saying regarding getting things done: to make an omelet you gotta break a few eggs. I’d rather the government break eggs than some punk with a racecar break necks.

Rolston Anglin Skips Finance Meeting To Launch New MLA Delivery Service

The Members of the Legislative Assembly of the Cayman Islands Government are pleased to announce their newest non-revenue-generating venture: Celebrity Politician Delivery Service.

For absolutely no money, you – YES YOU – can have parcels and envelopes delivered to your door by a MLA. According to MLA Rolston Anglin, this delivery service is vital to the operation of the government and necessary because MLA don’t have support staff like government employees – unless it’s election time and then they have dozens of support staff tripping over themselves to wipe the MLA’s nose.

A local Sprint representative is concerned that the MLA’s new service could put a bite into their highly efficient islands-wide delivery service, but told Cayblogger that the MLA system is more than likely doomed to failure.

“If it’s free, you usually get what you pay for,” this unnamed Sprint representative said. “Besides, shouldn’t MLA be taking care of government business and attending important cabinet-level budget meetings and finance committee sessions instead of wasting time hand-delivering their own envelopes and then complaining about their own inefficiencies when they are the ones who are in the best position to rid the system of these inefficiencies?”

That’s a good question, unnamed Sprint representative. Good question indeed.

All of this comes on the heels of MLA Rolston Anglin telling the Caymanian Compass that he was upset that the finance committee had to postpone questioning Royal Cayman Islands Police Chief Stuart Kernohan during vital budget discussions due to the chief’s scheduled vacation conflicting with the session.

Anglin himself, in spite of his whinging and complaining about Chief Kernohan, could not be present for these vital meetings because he was running errands and delivering his own envelope – but this didn’t stop the absentee MLA from pissing and moaning about having to postpone Kernohan’s session in finance committee, that he himself skipped out on.

Cayblogger suggestion to Anglin: call Sprint and let them deliver your envelope. I would consider this, as you say, “money well spent” if you are supposed to be in finance committee; especially if you claim to have questions you wanted answered by the chief.

Apparently once Anglin did finally manage to tear himself away from running errands and bother to show up at Kernohan’s hearing, he asked not one question because he feared that his question would have already been asked and he didn’t want to waste time.

Side bar: Webster’s defines wasting time as “a parliamentarian who can’t effectively delegate menial tasks to a subordinate; or one who fails to outsource administrivia in order to do one’s job more effectively and serve one’s constituents while at the same time bad-mouthing the islands’ top cop when he should be working.”

Anglin could not be reached for comment. Sources tell Cayblogger he was delivering a balloon bouquet to an East End octogenarian and then he had to stop off and feed his neighbor’s cat, shortly before dashing back to the LA to catch the last five minutes of vital budget meetings during which he made no material contribution.

Anglin is scheduled to write a letter to the governor – on principal – about this travesty of civil servant behaviour and lack of respect for the processes that keep the government machine operating like a... finely-tuned, governmental bureaucratic machine.

Anglin hopes to draft the letter to His Excellency during some upcoming down-time; otherwise known as Finance Committee - unless he has deliveries to make.

If anyone sees the Honourable Kurt Tibbetts, please tell him I’ve been waiting on my pizza for two days now.

Dr. Kevorkian: The HSA's Answer For Profitability

Dr. Jack Kevorkian - also known as Dr. Death for assisting more than 100 people shuffle off this mortal coil with dignity and relative ease of pain instead of suffering the death throws of wallowing in vomit, urine and feces, rife with bedsores rotting flesh inattentive health care staff and exorbitant health care costs that ultimately would be born by the distraught survivors or an already over-taxed welfare system paid for by the public – also known as assisted suicide – also known as mercy killing – also known as playing God – was released from prison after serving eight years for doing all that stuff I just mentioned.

Dr. Kevorkian has vowed that he will no longer assist anyone in peacefully transcending existence (wink, wink), but has promised to support legislation that would legalize a terminally ill patient’s right to die - effectively adopting the Bill Clinton, "I smoked but I didn't inhale" or "I stuck my ----- in her mouth, but we didn't have sex," theory of culpability.

As is usually the case, there is more to this story than simply the facts reported by credible news sources.

Word from the Cayman Islands Health Services Authority is that Dr. Kevorkian will begin a stint at the George Town Hospital as a “special consultant.” While his duties have yet to be defined, the HSA has announced that he will be an instrumental factor in helping the hospital’s bottom line.

“We feel Dr. Kevorkian’s wealth of experience with terminally ill patients puts him in a unique position to be able to assist the HSA in transitioning to a medical centre that places patient’s rights on par with the facility’s desire to provide the most cost-efficient services to the people of the Cayman Islands while operating within the financial boundaries of government subsidy and private funding that could possibly lead us to a financial break-even point,” stated a leaked HSA internal memo.

It goes on to say, “Far too many patients linger in our facility far too long receiving very expensive and very inadequate care, or receiving care that simply prolongs the inevitable to such an extent that finance takes a back seat to prudent provision of care. Simply put:  the longer a person is in the hospital and the more times he comes back, the more expenive it becomes to keep that person alive and healthy and Dr. Kevorkian, we feel, can put an end to this fiscal phenomenon.”

One unnamed HSA board member told Cayblogger that the HSA has been searching for ways to cut costs in an effort to reduce the overwhelming debt that has besieged the hospital for years now; and said that if the HSA can discharge more patients faster and without incurring further on-going expenses associated with expensive inpatient procedures or pesky follow-up care, the HSA might have a fighting chance to balance its books by the year 2074.

How does the HSA plan on doing this?  By, as the memo stated, "... helping things along when either physician experience or financial resources are unavailable."

“Our philosophy is this: dead people don’t drain the medical system like the live ones do,” the memo stated.

While some people believe this business model is destined for failure, others in Cayman feel that the hospital has been unknowingly helping people into an early grave for years – with Dr. Kevorkian, at least the path to the Almighty is clear – as is the accompanying fiscal policy.

“Dr. Kevorkian can help end lives peacefully and respectfully and will be available to all patients who enter the HSA who could benefit from a dignified transition to a higher and less financially burdensome plane,” the internal memo concluded. "We don't want to simply have someone to point the finger at, but this does ease the burden our doctors have of actually being charged with adhering to rule number one of the Hypocratic oath."

Dr. Kevorkian could not be reached for comment, nor could the employer sponsoring his work permit (Bodden Funeral Home) but his local spokesperson told Cayblogger that Dr. Kevorkian was looking into other ways to ply his craft in Cayman either by teaching young kids how to race modified sports cars on public roads, or by driving speed boats that pull wakeboarders in areas where people snorkel.