Unconfrimed reports are that Cayman Islands hunger-striker Dr. Luis Luarca is not losing weight as rapidly as reported by the Net News on page three this morning, but rather he's wearing larger clothes.
Sources close to Luarca say that due to financial constraints, he has been forced to rely on the kindness of Cayman residents who have been donating clothes - and those clothes are just too big.
"There are some very large people here in Cayman," said Luarca's spokesperson Francisco DaVaca-Miedo. "If the people of Cayman weren't so large, he would not look so gaunt and frail." DaVaca-Miedo asked for donations of clothes in men's medium size.
"We have plenty of women's glittery T-shirts adorned with rinestones that say stuff like "Bitch!" and "Rock Star" in size XXL, but what we need are some short guys to donate some less assuming clothes," DaVaca-Miedo said. "If Luarca is going to martyr himself for the common good of these other unfortunate (albeit large) people, we want him looking good."
Donations can be made directly to Luarca on the lawn of the Glass House at any time of the day or night. He's unemployed so he isn't going anywhere.